Ava Janelle Turns 1 !

Ava's First Year / Happy Ava

Happy Birthday darling Ava.  You make every moment happy. 

#ParrellWilliamsMakesHerDance

#ProudMama

#BirthdayGirl

#OneYearIn4Minutes

First Days Home with Baby

Dear first time parents - especially you moms, 

Preparing for parenthood is such a thrill!  Lucky for you, too, the internet has countless websites that provide lists of the products you are going to need to be prepared. But there are less obvious items, but just as crucial, to assist in comforting you and your baby as you both settle in to your new lift.  

Everything on this checklist is targeted to make your days and nights as relaxing and stress-free as possible.  I stand by each and every one of these products and would give a giftbasket with all of them to every new mom, if I could. 

1. Glider Chair (odomon optional).  Your newborn craves motion, because that is what his life has been up until now. This means spending a lot of time on your feet, swaying and bouncing back and forth. To take some of the pressure off, invest in a Glider chair that allows you to soothe both your baby and yourself. This is especially wonderful for your bedtime routine.  For example, each night I sit with my daughter in our Glider, read her a story, sing a song, say our prayers, and rock until she is nice and relaxed and ready for sleep. 
2. Nipple Contact Shield.  This tiny piece of plastic was one of the most helpful items during my attempts to breastfeed. Remember, this is the first time breastfeeding for both of you. It is going to take time (for most families, at least) to get the hang of it, and during the waiting game it can take a toll on your emotions and your body - specifically your "ladies". Plus, if your child has difficulty latching on\ like mine did, then this shield not only takes care of reducing some of the pain, it allows your baby to latch better and get the food she needs from mom. 
3. Hydrate. Hydrate. Hydrate! Keep a 32oz or 56oz Water Bottle with straw and handle handy at all times. Your body is releasing a lot of fluids due to giving birth and breastfeeding, and you will be more thirsty than ever before in your life. The large container, the handle, and the straw are all crucial.  It allows you to easily pick up and drink without worrying about spills or constantly having to refill. 
4. Harmony Lantern.  This amazing piece of art is so calming. You can purchase at www.harmonylantern.com.  It is a desktop lantern (can put on bookshelf, dresser, etc) with changeable inserts that have different themes. A slight breeze or swipe of your hand activates the insert piece to turn, which causes the beautiful shapes and colors to transpire on the wall and spin around as if the pictures were dancing. I have the Safari Animal and Christmas Reindeer inserts.  
5. Moby Wrap.  Your 2nd best friend. The swing is your #1 BFF, but that's not until #10 on this list. This LONG piece of fabric ties around your body and encompasses your newborn so that she can cradle against you for warmth, comfort, and that good 'ol in-the-womb feeling. This is a saving grace for when you need to get out of the house, or if you simply want your hands free while still holding your infant. 
6. Pacifiers.  The ones pictured here are wonderful, because you can help keep the binky in your baby's mouth by placing your finger in the little slot built in the back. 
7. SPROUT App for your iPhone or iPad.  This FREE app allows you to live your days without having to think... because let's be honest, your brain isn't ready to function yet until it can get some sleep.  The app has very user-friendly features that allow you to track the following: 
1. Feeding: A timer to track how long you feed or pump for and on what side (lef tor right breast)
2. Sleep: A timer to track when your baby sleeps and for how long.  You hit "Awake" for when baby is awake and "Asleep" for when baby sleeps.  You can't get easier than that. 
3. Diapers:  How many diapers are you changing and what are the contents like
8. Halo Sleepsack Swaddler.  This puppy has the Velcro you need to keep your newborn swaddled snug and tight. 
9. Pandora Radio's station "HEAVENLY LULLABIES".  This is the best station in the world, in my opinion.  It plays instrumental music to modern day songs (Aerosmith and more!).  So, it plays the right kind of music to put your baby to sleep and won't drive you crazy as you listen too. I spend a lot of nights feeding, rocking in my glider, listening to this station and watching the harmony lantern.  Very serene and peaceful. 
10. #10 is the ULTIMATE baby gear must-have livesaver.  The Fisher-Price My Little SnugaBunny Cradle Swing. Here is why:
1. Most swings are battery operated, but this model comes with a power cord. 
2. It has two directions to swing (side to side and front to back). 
3. It has multiple speed settings, music with volume settings, and a feature that moves little toy birdies around for your little one to look at.  
4. It is soft and cushioned, and the fabric pieces can come off easily to wash. 
5. It also has straps to buckle your little one in after they are bigger and able to roll around on their own. 
6. It transfers easily from room to room or place to place. 
7. Most importantly, your baby will get amazing sleep in this swing. Which means you can finally rest too. 

Diaper Bag Checklist

1. The bag and a changing pad... 
• Large side pockets are a must.  They come in handy when you are trying to handle 5 things at once and you need to quickly put something away but don't have time to unzip the bag.
• Look for a bag that is lined with plastic. So when spills occur (and they will) the bag isn't ruined.
• I like to stuff in a few disposable pads when we go out for the day or when we travel. I set it down between the public changing table and my own cushioned changing pad, so that I don't have to clean the nice pad later.  
2. Diapers, wipes, and diaper disposal bags...
• Pack at least 4 diapers - you never know if your plans will change or a diaper accident may occur. 
• Pack the disposable bags for when there isn't a trashcan near by or you are visiting someone who doesn't want a poop diaper in their house... because they obviously do not have kids yet.  I have a dog, so honestly I just throw a few of the dog-designated poop bags in instead.
3. Bottles with extra lids & nipples.
• If you formula feed, bring bottles with measured out water and a ziplock bag with formula and the correct measuring cup.
4. Nail clippers, nose aspirator, and hair comb.
• The nail clippers come in handy for when I need to quickly cut something too, such as the darn plastic piece on her toy that I clearly missed cutting after the purchase which now my daughter is aggressively trying to chew off. Choking Hazard: 1, Mom: 0. 
5. Don't forget your own wallet, keys, and cellphone!
• Leave your regular purse at home and instead slip these crucials into one of the diaper bag pockets. If you are anything like me then your regular purse weighs about 10 lbs and contains nothing you need anyhow. 
6. Muslin blanket. 
• Not only does it serve the purpose of keeping your baby warm, it can... easily drape over the car seat or stroller to protect baby's skin from the wind or sun; be placed on the grocery basket seat if you forgot your cart cover; be placed on the grass for your impromptu playtime in the park. 
• To my little girl, her blankie is her security object, so we never leave home without one.
7. Change of cloths, such as a sleeper, and a sun hat for shelter from sun rays or rain.
8. Toys to keep your child entertained.
• Sophie the Giraffe and a Carter's development texture book are featured here. My daughter always chooses these as her go-to for fun.
9. Pacifiers, if your baby uses them.
• Mine uses her thumb for soothing, but enjoys a pacifier to chew during teething. 
10. Hand Sanitizer from Bath & Body Works.  They come in travel size and so many delicious scents. 

Is TV Harmful to my Baby?

Am I a bad parent for letting my child watch TV?

I often ask myself this question, and I know other parents do too.

I will admit it. I sometimes let my baby watch tv for about 20 minutes a day (not every day).  I know it isn't supposed to be formative for her and have read that children under 2 years old should never watch television. Ever.  And yet still, I will let her watch. Not because I want a break. Not because I can't wait until she is asleep before watching my shows. It's because she seems to enjoy it! My daughter smiles and sways her arms about whenever a song comes on. She cuddles her blankie, sticks her thumb in her mouth, and leans back to watch one of her morning cartoons (Sophia the First, Jake and the Neverland Pirates, and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse).  So the question I ask myself is: am I a bad parent for endulging her, when studies say I should not? There are days when I say yes (no tv today, babygirl) and days when I say no (you can watch the hot dog song one more time). 

What about you? 
I think all of us parents would like to know what other parents are doing - either to make us feel better or to help us change our ways.

• Do you let your babies, toddlers, and/or children watch TV? 
• How much TV are they allowed to watch in a day? 
• What are their favorite television shows?

Or, take the survey on this topic, which you can access on the homepage.

There are a lot of studies out there that state the negatives of allowing children to watch television.  We've all read them... and yet many of us still allow our children some TV.

Comment here what your TV rules are and let us know what your stance is on the topic. 

Pregnancy Hospital Bag

It's finally here.  Your first contraction. Time to drive to the hospital and have this baby!  Just don't forget to grab your hospital bag.

To make this time easy and enjoyable for you, don't wait until the last minute to pack your bags.  Instead, a month before your due date set aside 10 minutes each day for one week to prepare what you will take with you when labor hits. 

What to pack for daddy...

• A towel for the car - if your water breaks before or during the car ride, you will want to protect the seats by sitting on a towel. I suggest you keep one in the vehicle instead of in your bags, so that no matter when labor strikes, you are A-OK. 

• The Birth Plan - document on paper what your birth plan is and remind your husband to hand it to the nurses after you are admitted to the hospital

• Snacks for dad -  my husband likes salty and I like sweet. I made sure to buy snacks that I know he enjoys and can pack in some energy. He will be focusing so much energy on helping you that he will forget to eat. Having something easily accessible will be nice for when he wants it.

• His pillow - if your partner is anything like mine, he is fond of his own pillow and travels with it for overnights. Grab his pillow before you leave for the hospital. After your beautiful child has arrived and you two finally go down for rest, your partner find comfort in the familliarity of his pillow. Plus, it's not like the bed that the hospital provides is 5-star hotel quality. 

• Change of clothes - something comfortable 

• Cell phone charger

• Dollar bills and change - for the vending machines!

What to pack for mommy...

• Nursing nightgown and robe.

• Nursing bra  (two).

• I was so out of it after giving birth that when it came time for me to take my first shower, I didn't remember to take my bra off before I got into the running shower. I was happy I brought a 2nd one along. 

• Flip-flop sandals -  If your feet are anything like mine, they look like sausages and sandals were the only shoes that would fit around those suckers.  I wore them in the shower too. 

• Toiletries – you will shower at some point, so bring soap and shampoo.

• Bath Towel – the hospital ones are rough, you will find comfort in your own towel.

• Hair brush, ponytail holders.

• Eye glasses (if you wear them).

• Going-home outfit - something lose and comfortable.  I wore a nursing nightgown and robe home.

      What to pack for baby...

• A going-home outfit 

• A hat - your baby cannot control its body temperature yet, so keep a hat on him/her for the first 48 hours. 

• The car seat - practice installing it in the car and learn how to correctly buckle the baby in BEFORE you go into labor.  Make sure Dad knows how too. 

• Two blankets -  one to put on the baby and one to roll up and put into the car seat to act as a  prop for your baby's head, who cannot hold her head up on her own yet. 

What to get for your recovery at home...
There are some things that will happen “down there” that are going to require time to heal. 

• Dermoplast Spray

• Witch Hazel pads

• Disposable underpads

• Heavy, long maxipads

• Regular maxipads

• NO TAMPONS

This list of items will be your saving grace during the process. The nurses at the hospital will
provide these during your stay and show you how to use. You'll need to purchase the items your
own though if you want them at home too. 

Working Mom

Whether by choice or financial obligation, some mommies return to work after having a baby

"What if I hate returning to work?"

1.   This does not make you a bad employee

2.   Give it time before you make any rash decisions - settling back in can take a few days, weeks, months.

3.  Communicate with your spouse or support network, perhaps they can provide emotional support or help you plan for an alternative path forward.

"What if I love returning to work?"

1.   This does not make you a bad parent

2.   Enjoying your independence is fine, as long as you are not neglecting your kid.

3.   You will likely learn to juggle mommyhood and workerbee roles well

To my parent readers (or soon-to-be parents... or those maybe-someday parents): whether you have a job or stay at home, don't let someone else make you feel insecure about your decision. If someone passes judgement, or acts above you because they live differently then you, stop talking and walk away. You are the parent to your child, and no one can take that away from you. 

My Story...

For my first born, I was able to spend 10 glorious weeks at home with her until I returned to   work. 


Before I got pregnant, my job and my dog were my babies. At that time in my life, I knew I wanted children and I knew I wanted to return to work.  That was the path for me.  

After having my baby, my heart took over my head. I felt more fulfilled being a mother than I ever imagined possible. Caring for my daughter, teaching her, playing games, cuddling... it all felt just as productive as a full day at the office, if not more.  I was not expecting this.

So, when the time came to return to work, I was conflicted.  It didn't feel fair that I couldn't have both my job and my daughter.  I wanted to spend my day with both.  This wasn't an option for me though and I quickly moved on to worrying about who was going to watch her if it wasn't me, her mother.  They say it takes a village to raise a child, but the closest village members I had were a minimum of 2 hours away. It was just my husband and I where we live- we didn't have the luxury of family nearby.  


My "last day at home" was rough - I cried about 4 times.  I worried about little things: would my husband let her take her 10am nap on his chest like I did??  Would he make sure she got enough tummy time and cuddles?? Did he know that babies aren't supposed to play with sharp objects?? (I never said I was rational). My husband was cautious during this time (smart man). He let me have my ups and downs and pretty much steered clear that day. I snuggled her tight, made sure all of our routine was captured in my memory, and as I fell asleep that night I said a prayer for my family. 

Option 1: Daycare? little kids running around my 10 week old.  The sheer thought of it brought about slow-motion pictures in my mind of my baby being left unattended in a corner.  No Thanks! Moving on...


Option 2: Babysitter? We couldn't afford one yet.  


Option 3: Stay at home parent. I am the "bread winner" as my hubby says sweetly, so me being at home wasn't going to work out. Luckily for my sanity and my daughter, my husband goes on layoff every down-season and was able to coordinate starting his time off on the day I returned to work. Looks like we have a winner! If my daughter couldn't be with me all day, the next best thing would have to be time with her daddy. 


Any worries I had about being back in the office quickly melted away as I sat back at my desk. I was warmly welcomed by my coworkers and team. I had enough to focus on that the day went by smoothly. It didn't drag on endlessly. My husband didn't call with an emergency. It was all in all an easy day.  So, What the heck was I worrying about? 

When I got home that evening, my partner was waiting for me, dog by side and baby in arms. It was the best welcome home I ever had. My daughter and I may not have had the day together, but her nightly routine became our mommy-daughter time. I would bathe her, feed her, play, and then start our bedtime routine of a goodnight book, song, prayer, and swaying to music. 

As I went to sleep that night, it began to dawn on me: this was the closest I was going to get to having my cake and eating it too. I had a job that I loved and a daughter who was my world. Even though I can't split them 50/50 all of the time, it is a juggling act and so far I don't feel that I've dropped any balls yet.