Working Mom

Whether by choice or financial obligation, some mommies return to work after having a baby

"What if I hate returning to work?"

1.   This does not make you a bad employee

2.   Give it time before you make any rash decisions - settling back in can take a few days, weeks, months.

3.  Communicate with your spouse or support network, perhaps they can provide emotional support or help you plan for an alternative path forward.

"What if I love returning to work?"

1.   This does not make you a bad parent

2.   Enjoying your independence is fine, as long as you are not neglecting your kid.

3.   You will likely learn to juggle mommyhood and workerbee roles well

To my parent readers (or soon-to-be parents... or those maybe-someday parents): whether you have a job or stay at home, don't let someone else make you feel insecure about your decision. If someone passes judgement, or acts above you because they live differently then you, stop talking and walk away. You are the parent to your child, and no one can take that away from you. 

My Story...

For my first born, I was able to spend 10 glorious weeks at home with her until I returned to   work. 


Before I got pregnant, my job and my dog were my babies. At that time in my life, I knew I wanted children and I knew I wanted to return to work.  That was the path for me.  

After having my baby, my heart took over my head. I felt more fulfilled being a mother than I ever imagined possible. Caring for my daughter, teaching her, playing games, cuddling... it all felt just as productive as a full day at the office, if not more.  I was not expecting this.

So, when the time came to return to work, I was conflicted.  It didn't feel fair that I couldn't have both my job and my daughter.  I wanted to spend my day with both.  This wasn't an option for me though and I quickly moved on to worrying about who was going to watch her if it wasn't me, her mother.  They say it takes a village to raise a child, but the closest village members I had were a minimum of 2 hours away. It was just my husband and I where we live- we didn't have the luxury of family nearby.  


My "last day at home" was rough - I cried about 4 times.  I worried about little things: would my husband let her take her 10am nap on his chest like I did??  Would he make sure she got enough tummy time and cuddles?? Did he know that babies aren't supposed to play with sharp objects?? (I never said I was rational). My husband was cautious during this time (smart man). He let me have my ups and downs and pretty much steered clear that day. I snuggled her tight, made sure all of our routine was captured in my memory, and as I fell asleep that night I said a prayer for my family. 

Option 1: Daycare? little kids running around my 10 week old.  The sheer thought of it brought about slow-motion pictures in my mind of my baby being left unattended in a corner.  No Thanks! Moving on...


Option 2: Babysitter? We couldn't afford one yet.  


Option 3: Stay at home parent. I am the "bread winner" as my hubby says sweetly, so me being at home wasn't going to work out. Luckily for my sanity and my daughter, my husband goes on layoff every down-season and was able to coordinate starting his time off on the day I returned to work. Looks like we have a winner! If my daughter couldn't be with me all day, the next best thing would have to be time with her daddy. 


Any worries I had about being back in the office quickly melted away as I sat back at my desk. I was warmly welcomed by my coworkers and team. I had enough to focus on that the day went by smoothly. It didn't drag on endlessly. My husband didn't call with an emergency. It was all in all an easy day.  So, What the heck was I worrying about? 

When I got home that evening, my partner was waiting for me, dog by side and baby in arms. It was the best welcome home I ever had. My daughter and I may not have had the day together, but her nightly routine became our mommy-daughter time. I would bathe her, feed her, play, and then start our bedtime routine of a goodnight book, song, prayer, and swaying to music. 

As I went to sleep that night, it began to dawn on me: this was the closest I was going to get to having my cake and eating it too. I had a job that I loved and a daughter who was my world. Even though I can't split them 50/50 all of the time, it is a juggling act and so far I don't feel that I've dropped any balls yet.